the nightstand backup person is…

On my day off I decided to clean out and organize MY nightstand. Three small drawers STUFFED with everything a man needs. After giving each drawer a cursory glance, I decided I need to come up with a “person” who will come into the condo upon my death, go directly to my nightstand with a trashbag, and totally destroy all incriminating pornography and miscellaneous items.

Obviously I’d like that person to be Daryl, but say we’re BOTH killed in the same accident. And besides, his nightstand is about as bad as mine.

That being said… I made a mistake several months ago by ordering the wrong CASE of lube online. It’s some sort of tacky “gel” that Daryl and I tried once and decided immediately that it must be made for robot sex it was as thick as oil. The remaining 11 bottles of the stuff remain in my nightstand I guess just in case? Then there are the DVD’s. Sure these are private and tucked securely in the third drawer down, but I’d be totally freaked out if I died and my Mother or a brother or worse, one of my kids had to “see” what turned Dad on. The Little Mermaid they ain’t!

Then there are the um… toys. I need to find a nightstand backup person.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Life...

2 responses to “the nightstand backup person is…

  1. Cathy

    Well, the FIRST thing you have to do is throw out the substandard lube. Cuz seriously, if you don’t like it, you’re not gonna use it and it’s taking up valuable nightstand space where other, more effective, ellicit items can collect!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s