Vanetta Patina Zazu Durnell Williams

…or affectionately referred to as “cat.”

A few months ago, Daryl and I were sitting in our living room enjoying a few (too) many glasses of an Australian Cabernet Sauvignon while watching TV. We LOVE our cat, we really do, so while we were watching her jump off a chair and dive into an empty box like two parents watching a child, we decided to RENAME her. Now she WAS given the adoptive name of Zazu from the shelter that we rescued her from a year ago… but we had the power and frankly the juice of several rows of grapes from a foreign country to allow us to just RENAME the cat at will!

Giddy with excitement over the endless possibilities we could come up with we were awestruck as a commercial for Verizon came on TV (it WAS an intervention from God we’re sure) and a little black girl came on stating her name was Vanetta! We instantly LATCHED on to it, looked at our cat lying upside down in the empty box playing with a piece of lint and KNEW she was no longer just Zazu Queen of the Jungle… she was Vanetta… Vanetta…

We downed some more wine because well… Vanetta just needed another name to tag after Vanetta. We tried including some of MY Irish heritage and quickly realized that Vanetta Soban just wasn’t gonna cut it. Vanetta Molly? Vanetta Abbey? Nah. After much discussion, we decided that we liked how Jack from “Will and Grace” had arbitrarily named one of Will’s college friends Patina because he just liked how it sounded, so THAT’S what we decided to try!

We both crawled on the floor with  the cat and with anxious anticipation, we started calling her Vanetta Patina, VANETTA PATINA and LO AND BEHOLD, she frickin’ ANSWERED to it! It was a miracle…truly a miracle.

The next day I thought, imagine if parents of children did that. You know… rename your kids every time you have a few too many beers. Imagine the fall out.



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2 responses to “Vanetta Patina Zazu Durnell Williams

  1. Love it Ed!!! Keep writing and check out my blog in between glasses of wine and watching your cat jump into a box.

  2. Cathy

    We don’t rename our pets- we just add nicknames ad infinitum as time goes by. AJ came to us as AJ, and that’s his name- but he gets called Biddle, Ittle Bittle, Boodle, AJ Biddle Snort, AJ Biddle, Mr. AJ Biddle.

    Maxie came to us from the shelter as “McKenna”. Not right. So her name is Maxie Jones McKenna Helmuth. She has nicknames accumulating too. Twittle, Baby Twittle, Little Baby Twittle, Rock-a-Bye Twittle…..

    I hope we would do that to kids if we had them… they would be embarassed!

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