“LIKE” it or NOT.

The LIKE “button” on FaceBook… that little “thumbs up” icon we’ve ALL become accustomed to in our new social interactive world. Its purpose is pretty basic really and fairly simple.

I post a status. YOU LIKE IT. You post a status. I LIKE IT. Sort of like slam bam thank you ma’m. No strings attached. You just press a button and it’s over with no real complications! Easy right?

Sometimes though, I feel like I need something more… something DIFFERENT. You know… when LIKE just isn’t ENOUGH. I believe we could use SO many more specific buttons. Just having “LIKE” is akin to having one ear, or one arm (apologies to my appendage impaired friends), you just can’t say it all with only one option.

Other buttons I propose we could benefit from would include an EFF-U button, or maybe something not QUITE that direct? Perhaps EFF-OFF? Obviously it would look like the middle finger and it says… well it SAYS so much! Political and religious posts, advocacy and protest cause posts and the ever popular “what my poo looks like in the morning” posts are ALL candidates for the EFF-OFF button.

I’d favor an “I’m offended” button. I’m certain, actually almost positive, that I’d be the recipient of more than a few of those! It could look like crossed arms or maybe it could resemble a closed mind? I don’t know how it could be represented graphically, however in my opinion, one could just use the “UNfriend” button just as easily. For that very reason, the number of my FB Friends fluctuates as much as the Stock Market on any given day.

How about an “I’m tipsy or a little stoned button?” It could look like the thumbs up icon, but with a martini glass or a doobie held within it. What a great way to let all your FB friends know that your posts and your comments are typed while under the influence! Sort of like a “get out of jail FREE card.” Your friends would give you instant forgiveness for misspellings, rants, raves and unrequited love or late night bootie posts.

I bet everyone could use a “Do I REALLY need to see 675 photos of your baby’s first bath?” button. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been MORE than guilty of OVER posting photos of my kids, my partner, our cat and the Christmas Tree I refuse to take down because it’s the first artificial one I’ve ever had and I CAN leave it up all year! But it’s like when we used to have SLR camera’s in the 80’s and I used to take 800 photos of the dolphin show at SeaWorld and you get them back at $100 a pop to find that they’re all EXACTLY the same! This button could maybe look like a… I dunno… maybe a smashed baby’s face?

How about these surveys and numbers games where you go to check the “statusii” (for the record, I’ve COINED that word) of your close friends and the screen of your smart phone is covered with useless banter between folks that are really trying to vent an over abundance of boredom? Should I HAVE scroll minutes to find out what my best friend had for dinner? I would vote for a “this is just stupid” button. It could be an image of maybe a zombie or a blond chick or something.

Admit it. We ALL have a few FB Friends on our list that want to push the sexuality envelope. SO GLAD that I don’t try to do that, but do we REALLY need to know that you’re horny or hot or hormonal? I suggest a “get a room” button. Obviously it would be the thumbs up (or other appendage) icon with a hotel key held tightly within its grasp.

Look… I truly UNDERSTAND the concept that technology (ie. FaceBook) is only a tool that EMULATES real life socializing, but sometimes I’m too tired to comment on something you have to say so I just want to “click a button” to convey my specific thoughts without having to get a real drawn out response, and LIKE just doesn’t cut it.  

What do YOU think? (PRESS LIKE NOW.)

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