I read today that the flyover by four F-18 fighter jets at Super Bowl XLV cost $450,000 http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/The-Super-Bowl-flyover-may-have-cost-450-000-W?urn=nfl-319475. The top of Cowboys Stadium retractable roof was closed, and the fans couldn’t even SEE it except on the big screen inside the stadium. Nonsense!
Totaling that amount up with the money spent on Doritos advertising, the Black Eyed Peas sound and hoisting systems, Usher’s outfit, Christina Aguilera’s teleprompter (oh wait… she didn’t have one), not to mention the salaries of the players, coaches and owners as well; How can there be a fucking recession?! (I rarely use a question mark AND an exclamation point at the end of a sentence unless I think a comment is ridiculously ridiculous, and I MORE rarely use the same adverb to describe itself unless I’m feeling passionate AND I rarely use vulgarity unless… screw it… I use vulgarity because I like hard consonants and it shocks.) The money spent just racks up into the millions, perhaps BILLIONS of dollars.
Daryl and I could do a lot with all that dough.
We’d start with charity. Yep. We’re compassionate and would have a difficult time choosing which “cause” to donate to… possibly because we don’t have a cause. Maybe some ecology based charity, or something for emotionally disturbed kids, or drug and alcohol abuse or knowing us, we’d give a big chunk to the homeowner’s association here at the condo for GOOD snow removal. We’re true bleeding hearts.
Perhaps a vacation home in Mikonos, Greece. Daryl and I would have one of those pretty white stucco homes overlooking the Aegean Sea, like in the film “Mamma Mia” complete with a singing housekeeping staff that we’d personally interview. I’m sure you’re thinking we’re shallow and would line the home with young shirtless men with dark hair and glistening tanned skin who’d bring us Vodka filled pastel colored cocktails with fresh fruit and cheese… and you’re absolutely correct. THAT is what we’d do.
Our relatives would be rich too. We LOVE our families, and we’d be more than willing to share our wealth, within reason. We’d give our Mom’s enough rolls of quarters to spend weeks, even months, at the local casinos. We’d even buy them rooms to stay over at the best Motel 4 that money could buy! That would make them happy. For our brothers and sisters, we’d pay off their mortgages and we’d get new phone numbers so that they couldn’t contact us unless we wanted them to.
Oh… and I’d quit work. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my job, but I’d quit after about a week (enough time to rack up a decent commission and also tell a few co-workers what I REALLY think of them). Speaking for Daryl, I’d say he’d stay on part time because he likes it there.