TOP TEN REASONS this relationship is doomed to fail:

1.  He’s shallow. I’m deep.
     (unless there is a shirtless jogger or we’re at the gym)

2.  He’s smart. I’m smarter.
     (except at Jeopardy, Family Feud and Wheel of Fortune)

3.  He likes to gamble. I don’t play games.
     (Bejeweled Blitz and online Scrabble do not count)

4.  He’s a-dor-a-ble. I’m a-door-mat.

5.  He’s dark. I’m light.

6.  He’s a man. I’m a man.

7.  He reads Soap Opera Digest. I read the New York Times.

8.  He likes an occasional c*cktail. I like an occasional c*ck.

9.  He watches WIPEOUT. I watch The American Experience.

10. He makes me laugh. I make him crazy.

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