Pull Out.

"Sticky Fingers" - Rolling Stones 1971

I was on my way to work yesterday and I was running a little late. Running late has been REALLY stressing me lately because if you’re late at work more than 3 times, you get written up. Fourth time you get fired. Apparently, “the company that I work for” has nothing better to do than hire RESPONSIBLE people that cannot only sell thousands of dollars of furniture, but can also be timely.

I have strayed off topic.

As I was driving (read: speeding) to work yesterday, a car on a side street pulled out in front of me causing me to do my usual honk the horn, swerve wildly to the left, and flick off the person who didn’t see me coming (or DID see me coming and didn’t give a rat’s ass).

The experience got me thinking. How many ways can one use the words “Pull Out?”

Several examples come to mind immediately. Who hasn’t been asked to pull out a license during a routine DUI checkpoint? Or tried to pull out a wad of cash to impress a good looking lady (or gent) sitting next to you at a bar? Or better yet, have you ever had a good friend pull out your finger?

I’ve had to pull out receipts for the IRS, and pull out printed directions for hooking up components to a television system when the diagrams just aren’t enough. Pulling out socks in the dark of the early morning that actually match my pants is truly a daily struggle. Pulling out of my parking space while looking in the rearview mirror is also a challenge I find annoying, but it DID pay off a few weeks ago as I almost ran over a neighbor’s dog.

The situations are endless. Pulling out a cork from a bottle of wine is a favorite hobby of mine. Have you ever had to pull out the bed from a sleeper sofa when you’ve gotten into an argument with your significant other? Or threatened them by pulling out a serrated 12-inch bread knife and then had to pull it out of the body before the police came?

Speaking of pulling out 12-inches… this one time at band camp…

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2 Comments

Filed under Life...

2 responses to “Pull Out.

  1. christine

    Love the pic you picted to go with this hilarious blog. You are too funny Ed.

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