I was reading online sports news about how José Conseco sent his twin brother, Ozzie, to fight in his place at a “celebrity” boxing match and almost got away with it. Apparently, José felt that the promoter was backing out of the promised payment and figured why give them the real deal when a “pretty close” substitute was in the wings.
I wonder how the conversation between the brothers may have gone…
José: “Hey Ozzie, think you could look like you hit 462 home runs while getting the shit beat out of you for a celebrity boxing match tonight?”
Ozzie: “Well, shucks José, I dunno. Will I have to drive into any DUI checkpoints along the way?”
José: “Hmmmm, I don’t know about that Ozzie, but maybe I’ll show you where I let Madonna touch my balls.”
Ozzie: “Okay. Deal.”
Boys will be boys, and as the Miami Herald reported:
“We discovered the Canseco who showed up was Ozzie when he took off his shirt and didn’t have José’s tattoos on the biceps that appear in our advertising,” a Celebrity Boxing representative told El Nuevo Herald.
José Canseco did not respond to telephone calls.
In my opinion, perhaps God in his infinite wisdom thought, “these guys have such stunning looks and amazing athletic talent already, let’s split a full brain between ‘em.” Poof! It’s done! Just like that!