Wanted: Hunk to pop out of cake.

Daryl’s Birthday is next Wednesday and I have no idea what to get him this year.

Us at Rehoboth for Daryl's 50th Birthday in 2010.

I wanted to make his gift something special this year. Last year, for his 50th, I took him to the Boardwalk Plaza in a third floor beachfront room in Rehoboth, Delaware with a cake, a bottle of wine and balloons “waiting” in the room when we arrived. I’m thinking, I need to top that (pun intended).

I hate this pressure though. Always have. Now mind you, the man is most likely THE easiest man to buy for, but it’s not really about HIM anyway, is it? It’s about ME and how I’m going to come across to others.

The last thing I want is for one of Daryl’s co-workers or family members to ask him next Thursday, “So what did Ed get you for your birthday?” and for Daryl to reply, “Oh we don’t get each other gifts, we’re just blessed to have each other and our health… sigh.”

Puke! I can already see the judgmental stares and distasteful comments stabbing me in the back!

Straight women, hags, and homos everywhere will be thinking “What does Daryl SEE in Ed anyway? How could a gay man NOT get his adoring partner an expensive gift for his birthday; a piece of jewelry, a watch or perhaps a Mercedes?” while thinking, “I sure hope SOMEone in the relationship is at least hung and extraordinary in bed for him not to even get flowers for his special day.”

I struggled with it folks! I truly did! I searched for HOURS on the internet for ideas (read: porn). I tried to brainstorm from watching TV (read: Planet Earth marathon on the Discovery Channel), I even went to the mall to shop (read: that Toll House Cookie store is a curse!).

I came up with nothing.

I KNOW Daryl well enough to realize that offering him a “surprise three way” with the stud of his choice is just NOT gonna cut it as a gift (right Bub?!) and our nightstands already don’t close due to a plethora of phallic shaped toys, games and videos, so what’s a partner to do?

I’m off on Monday, so I’ll put a little time aside to think some more on how to make it look like I pondered for weeks on a gift. In the meantime, ideas are welcome.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Wanted: Hunk to pop out of cake.

  1. * a drive to Cape May
    * it’s going to be “warmer” on Wednesday, so is there anywhere to have lunch and see cherry blossoms? picnic near cherry blossoms?
    * Longwood Gardens lunch at their nice restaurant?

  2. lmao… this blog killed me. .. thank you for the laugh i really needed it. sadly i can offer no advice on the gift ideas… shucks on the 3 way…. but yeah …it is sad that there is so much pressure on gifts. each year has to be something new and imrpoved…actually honestly i dont want fancy. i dont want something that took 2 minutes to get… i want thought and consideration. my husband of 2 years…been together for 10.. last christmas got me a lizard necklace..i have never ever ever worn necklaces with animals on them..i dont even like lizards..no thought..no consideration… i couldnt even hide my shock. anywho i hope u find something. 🙂

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