The Attack of the 50 Foot Mummy?

Yvette Vickers, a B-movie actress and former Playboy Playmate was recently found mummified in her dilapidated Hollywood residence. Apparently she was undiscovered for over a year.

Being a huge science fiction fan when I was a young lad, I used to stare at the television on Saturday mornings watching our local Doctor Shock’s “Creature Double Feature.” I actually remember getting lost one rainy morning in one of Ms. Vickers more popular classics entitled “Attack of the 50-foot Woman.” At the time, I didn’t really GET the tight, torn in-all-the-right-places frock that highlighted the giant woman’s um… assets, but I DID find myself wondering what it would be like to be that tall trouncing around a desert town in black and white while picking up cars like toys, frightening local residents and smashing down buildings with the flick of a wrist. Ah, the power of it all!

Sigh. Her gigantic power apparently waned.

I’ve often wondered HOW a death can go THAT unnoticed? Especially after being a Playboy Playmate of the fifties? I thought they had it all, literally. I was always under the assumption that a pretty face and great boobs would allow a woman to find eternal happiness and a lifetime of pool parties, photo ops and perfect performances.

Apparently, a happy ending and the flash of camera bulbs don’t go on forever.

Unfortunately, being found like this is a large fear of mine when I get older. I’ve had nightmares about it. I imagine one hot summer’s day, I’ll be discovered in my tattered underwear seated in a tasteful recliner where I’ve been glued to the seat with smelly, albeit colorful, bodily fluids. My smile will be half eaten by the cat while I am still clutching a wine glass with a few drops of a good cabernet sauvignon at the bottom and there will be a plate of fly ridden cracker crumbs on the table next to me. The TV will have remained on and a rerun of I Love Lucy will be playing a little too loud, maybe the episode of the Vitameatavegamin commercial. Hopefully, whatever hair I have left will have been combed.

I currently wonder how could no one find ME until a year or two later?

I suppose I should begin NOW by making sure I always have a backup friend to check up on me if I’m not heard from in 2 or 3 consecutive days. I have over 200 Face Book friends so surely one or two of them will notice if I don’t post for an extended period of time. I promise to be nicer and more attentive to all of you.

In the meantime…

… may you rest in pieces Yvette, you will be missed.

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1 Comment

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One response to “The Attack of the 50 Foot Mummy?

  1. I thought that whole Yvette Vickers thing was so strange when I read it.
    It was also sad to see the passing of Ed Wood muse, Dolores Fuller, a few days ago.

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