Well, there ARE butts involved if you look at the latest headlines with Frenchman Dominique Strauss-Kahn, managing director of the International Monetary Fund, who for some ODD reason (read: penis) allegedly had the audacity to accost a maid after he came out of the bathroom in a towel. Apparently, she was just trying to clean his $3000 a night room. He is accused of sodomizing her and then leaving in a hurry. He reportedly forgot his cell phone and a few other crucial items including DNA (read: squirt).
The New York City crime team caught him just in the nick of time in the First Class (imagine that) section of an Air France flight at Kennedy (irony here?) Airport just before it took off to his native homeland. Strauss-Kahn denies his guilt, even though he was chosen in a standard police lineup and a statement was given by the victim.
If I were in charge of this investigation, I’d solve the case quite simply.
I’d have another politician smell Strauss-Kahn’s dick. Smells like the inside of an anus? Guilty. End of story. Hello Bubba in Cell #9.
Speaking of anuses, I also heard just today that THE Terminator (herein known as the “Sperminator”), former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, has announced that he had an affair several years back and actually “fathered” (I use the term very loosely) a child with a member of the family’s household staff (maid again?). Apparently, he felt it necessary to finally disclose this to the press AFTER he was out of office. I’m assuming the guilt was overwhelming and he wanted to clear the air with Maria. Oink, Arnold, just friggin’ oink.
What IS it about these so called MEN that warrant this type of behavior? Is it the power? Is it the amount of time traveling around the globe and being political? Is it living in close proximity to Motel Sixes? Maybe it’s the maid costume?
I think it is a mix up of the minds.
There is one mind in the brain and then there is one mind in the pants. I don’t believe men have the capacity to distinguish the difference.
The irony of the entire situation is that the actual penis of a pig looks like this:
I think I’m finished my rant on the “pigosity” of men but I’d like to sum it up with several past honorable mentions who have also thought with their dicks:
Bill Clinton, Hugh Grant, ALL the Kennedy men, Kobe Bryant, Donald Trump, Prince Charles, Tiger Woods, Jesse James and the list goes on… and on… and on…