waiter… there’s a kiwi in my drink.

 I’m sitting here after dinner watching a rerun of Sex and the City on E. It’s the one where Miranda has a date with a guy that licks her ass and she’s unsure how to react. Speaking of anal licking… I had a shitty day at work. I’m pretty much sick of being nice to people to get them to buy a sofa and an accent chair. I have days like that.

When I came home I wanted to rip into several pieces of greasy Kentucky Fried Chicken, a box of chocolate truffles and half a pepperoni pizza. I was fortunate tonight. Daryl saved me from comfort food frenzy.

Sort of.

He decided to chef tonight since he was off today and he likes to reciprocate for when I cook during the week. I had some Tilapia in the freezer and he got some asparagus and rice. Daryl decided to “experiment” with our cocktails. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE cocktail experiments. Some of my “absolut” favorite drinks have been born completely by accident. As long as there is lots of ice and lots of Vodka, USUALLY you can’t go wrong. Right?

Earlier in the week, Daryl had brought home several kiwis (approximately 20) from a school function he had attended. Who the hell needs 20 kiwis? Anyway… he decided to try to “incorporate” some of these kiwis into our cocktails. For some reason, when Daryl bartends he likes to include fruit chunks into the beverage. I’m good with that. Texture, I like to call it. Pieces of orange or pear floating in my drink is great! It makes me feel like it’s truly GOOD for me instead of 3 million sugar calories from the mixers.

Tonight though, the kiwi drink was green. Not a pretty green. More like something you’d clean bugs off the front of your car green. He tries. He really does, and I so appreciate his misguided sense of adventure, however, this time I sipped and smiled, then sipped again as I tasted something that reminded me of… what’s the image I’m looking for… wait for it… GRASS. Yeah, grass! NOT the kind you light up either. The cocktail tasted like someone’s lawn. Daryl caught on quickly and replaced it with something orangey and fruity. Whew. Crisis averted.

Dinner was lovely.

After I cleaned up the kitchen, I decided to turn on the laptop and blog on our cocktail hour. Daryl headed to the dining room table to play some sort of supermarket game that he’s been collecting pieces for. I never do those things. I tried to do it once with some cookware “stamps” and we ended up with three sauce pans that I never use except once I used one as a hammer.

This current game is called “ACME’s Sizzlin’ Summer Giveaway!” I’m not completely sure how it works, but apparently you have to collect sets of stickers to claim over 10 million dollars in prizes and coupon offers. After a few minutes while I’m deep into Trey and Charlotte discussing the name of Trey’s penis, Daryl exclaims, “See! We are already are on the road to savings! Here is a coupon for 25 cents off for a container of cottage cheese!” He was seriously excited. I was less than thrilled. He then said that said he hopes we don’t win the backyard makeover prize, because well… we don’t have a backyard.

I got up to go the bathroom and the dining room table was covered with thousands of… okay HUNDREDS of these little sticker things… oh alright dam it there were maybe 30 stickers tops. I wonder if the contest includes a new boyfriend prize.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “waiter… there’s a kiwi in my drink.

  1. OMG you had me at Sex in the City, KFC and Vodka…such a wonderful and funny blog…new to WordPress…and so happy I found such delightful reading material…
    I am going back for more…well…as soon as I get my Smirnoff…yup yup

  2. Daryl cracks me up being hooked on the ACME sticker giveaway!! He sounds so innocent and sweet.

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