Cheers Dears.

Maybe it’s because I only slept a total of two hours last night, but I’m right on the edge of sobbing at every commercial on TV that involves children, babies, pets, toys, and even feminine hygiene products. Hell, I even started tearing up at Macy’s Black Friday sale ad that I’ve seen no fewer than 6 times in the last hour.

Sure, it’s Thanksgiving Eve. Kitchens. Cooking. Slicing. Dicing. Fireplaces. Traveling. Bottles of wine. Cheeses. Rearranging the refrigerator. Then rearranging it again. And this year a little snow. Perfect, right?

Then why am I teetering on the tip of an emotional dip?

I think it’s because I’ve lost people again this year. Through death, dissolution, and sometimes just plain undernourished relationships. I should be getting used to it now that I’m getting older, but I’m not (getting used to it). We all lose people don’t we? If I could just get ’em back for this one day. Just this one time. I swear I’d be thankful.

I feel guilty for allowing this uncomfortable energy to invade a day when excitement, enticement, and enlightenment should all be served on the dining room table. Next to the gravy boat. I like gravy boats. And ladles. But I learn… WE learn… to mix the sad with the glad like bread chunks and sage.

After all… Thanksgiving is for the living. For the love. For folks that have things. Warm homes. Friends. Family. Laughter. Squealing kids. Nervous pets. Hugs all around. Carving new relationships. Safe relationships. Glasses clinking all around. Echoes of laughter not around.

I miss them today. Cheers.

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4 Comments

Filed under Life...

4 responses to “Cheers Dears.

  1. Kristina Duffy

    I lost a dear friend two years ago, and his picture showed up on my timeline yesterday, posted by his grieving daughter as she chopped celery for her stuffing. I was caught off guard, and my breath just stopped for a moment. There it was…that warm smile…that “Roman” face that will never leave my memory. That smile that I will never lay eyes on again, but will always remember. He was always so happy. My God, it’s so hard to lose someone so close and so precious. But I hold him dear to my heart, and I will never forget his energy. Roman, I never knew how much I learned from you until you were gone. Thank you for everything that you passed on to me. I miss you dearly.

    • What a loving personal tribute to a part of your world Tina. Life continues to throw fleeting moments at us. We catch most of them. Hopefully, w e learn to live life in every way at every day and continue to evolve with open minds and eternal hearts. Thank you, old/new friend, for reading, and for sharing.

  2. This time of year is always hard. While it is a time of celebration, it is also a reminder of lives and loves lost into the past–whether through death or other kinds of separation. I always cry a lot during this season, and feel the loneliness grow at times. You are not alone.

  3. An auntie posted photos of my mom and dad when they were so, so young. Younger than I am now. Mom died in 1997 and seeing those old pictures hit me hard – she didn’t even have kids yet, and no idea about the life she was going to have or the cancer that would take her.

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