Tag Archives: Face Book

phone EDDY-quette.

I’m typically not what I would consider a phone person.

I don’t enjoy talking on them, I don’t care for idle chit chat and I don’t like the dead space of silence during a phone conversation. My philosophy for the phone is akin to the “ManHunt” gay website… get on, then get off.

I wasn’t always this way. I remember as a teenager on the phone the conversations would last for HOURS. I remember falling in love at least three times via a big black plastic wall phone in the rec room of my house growing up. It had a very long cord that could be wrapped at least three times around my thin frame with no problem. Dialing took minutes as I waited for the dial to return from the number “9.”

I’m thrilled that phones today have FINALLY become an incredible tool to use as more than just a phone, however, now I can’t be without my phone (even in the bathroom). I can’t put my phone down (except to type this blog). I use it for Face Book status updates. I type mine and read my friends. You’ve seen my blog rants on this before.

Bejeweled Blitz on my iphone is a competition (although I have FINALLY learned to TOTALLY ignore Adam Albright on the score board with his insane high scores. ALWAYS in the number ONE spot, I SWEAR he was abducted by aliens and probed in ways that included three jewels in a row) that I just can’t seem to kick. Did I say competition? I meant obsession. Between “Scrabble,” “Angry Birds,” and “Plants vs. Zombies” it’s a wonder I EVER put the damn thing down.

A built in camera allows for on the fly stills and video in an instant. Daryl and I have recorded birthday greetings and, on occasion, a drunken video or two using our phones. Recording notes and conversations are now passé. Listening to the latest music and downloading immediately what you hear is just a click and a password away.

I have apps on my phone that can not only give me the weather here in West Chester, but can give me meteorological specifics anywhere in the world. I have apps that give me directions, and restaurant locations and reviews; I can buy movie tickets in advance. I can even scan bar codes of any products and instantly get the item’s best sale location within a ten mile radius.

I can do my banking and pay bills on my phone. I can change the channel or record from my TV from any location (and I HAVE actually changed the channel from work to the religious channel when I know Daryl is at home watching “Survivor.”).

I can only imagine what the future holds for “smart phones.” I’m sure someday, they will be able to plug into your vehicle and automatically drive it home for you while pre-ordering takeout food on the way.

For now, the BEST feature of my iphone that I can’t live without is when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night; it becomes my “flashlight” so I don’t trip over the cat or pee on the floor.

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5 emotions in less than 30 seconds.

**I dedicate this blog to my long-time neighbor Meg, who has several teenage daughters that she loves dearly as she surmises how to drop them off at the mall while possibly omitting to pick them back up.**

Kids. Teenagers. Brats. Still as self-centered and angst-ridden as we were back in the seventies. The difference today is technology and in my opinion, they are better dressed. Smart phones, Iphones, Ipods and other technology induced devices, bulge from the pockets of today’s youth.

I often imagine what MY teenage years would have been like had we had FaceBook back then. I had always “perceived” that I was somewhat socially networked, but I’m certain I would have paled in comparison to Rodger Blye or Anita Kelly. I’m sure that “super-jock” and “head cheerleader” from the Class of 1975 would have had to scroll for hours at the statuses of their lists upon lists of friends, dismissing “friend requests” like swatting flies away on a humid summer day.

I remember handwritten notes folded like triangles, all colored with pens and markers that had traveled with giggles and red faces from hand to hand until it’s final destination. THAT was our version of texting. Kids today type 250 words per minute (on a keyboard that only a Lilliputian from Gulliver’s Travels could see) with their THUMBS! My 11th grade typing teacher Miss Wright would think this SO wrong.

Emotions today are replicated with “emoticons” and an entire 30 second tirade of a teenage meltdown can look something like this:

:-),   =),  =(,  🙂   😦  :O  {: ] : \  =:O :-),  =(,  🙂   😦  :O  {: =),  =(,  🙂   😦  :O  {: ] : \  =:O

Seems much simpler with such little human interaction, and it would have saved tons of eyeliner and grass stains back in the day. Also, I could have conducted all of my dating via “SMH,” “LMAO,” and “WTF?” Pure teenage bliss.

The one thing that seems to have not changed, however, is a trip to the mall.

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