Tag Archives: pain

The First Appointment of the Day.

by Ed Williams  
I need my coffee this morning. I’m up extra early today. Hell, it’s still dark out. For some reason, I scheduled myself for an 8:00 am dentist appointment. And it’s 20 minutes away. What was I thinking? 

I usually do that. On my day off, I schedule doctors visits, blood work, and prostate exams all before the day really gets started. I think it’s because I read somewhere that human beings are capable of tolerating more pain in the morning. Obviously, whomever did that study never had a good hangover.

I also like to get these things out of the way. I don’t like anticipating pain or discomfort. Once, I actually talked myself out of doctor’s appointment that was scheduled in the afternoon because I had too much time to think about it. 

Circle back to caffeine. Or lack of. I didn’t have time to relax with my second cup of joe this morning. I barely gulped down half the first. When I don’t have my second cup, I don’t feel complete. I get edgy. I end up looking for things to tick me off. I’ve been known to push the cat off the bed because she looks too comfortable. If my car doesn’t turn over at the first twist of the key, I freak out. I’ll shoot nasty looks at school age children playing in the road while waiting for their bus. All situations that I normally handle well when the level of caffeine is sufficient. If not, it just becomes ugly and I google anger management videos.

So as I’m sitting is the dentist chair watching the sun come up and waiting for the novocaine to kick in, I wonder. What if my dentist hasn’t had his second cup of coffee? If my dentist gets grumpy, will he slip? I don’t fancy a drill slipping and ripping my gum to shreds. What if he’s tired? What if he uses the wrong drill size? Dear God, what if he’s hungover and hasn’t had coffee? Dentists must drink heavily after looking into people’s mouths all the time. What if he stayed up too late playing bonus levels of Candy Crush and he’s extra tired? I hope he doesn’t take his lack of coffee issues out on me.

Obviously, I have too much time to ponder this terrible situation as the numbness takes effect and I attempt to spit graciously into the bowl as a stubborn string of saliva refuses to disconnect itself from my lower lip. And that’s a run-on sentence. And I need to pee.

I wish they’d get this procedure done quickly, so I can hit up a hazelnut at Wawa.

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every single day.

And every single day, I look for a glimpse of you. In every echoed footstep, in every strangers laugh, in every child’s eye. I look for you as the warm sun runs flashing past my open car window as I listen hard for that song we danced to… and the one we cried with. I squint to see your smiling face as I turn the corner to our empty house… my cavernous home. The only sound, my shoes, as they click, too loudly, on stairs that lead to a night I thought would never end. And every single day. I still look for you. And weep. Silently.

(Not really sure where this came from other than it came)

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Filed under Life..., Poetry

Last Breath.

And as the silence drew closer still

As if suffocation of spirit wasn’t enough

As if her pain racked body wasn’t enough

Her cracked lips parted

And a whisper struggled from the deepest depth of her heart

To take its place among the stale air around her face

As if pushing her gently from life’s ledge wasn’t enough

As if letting her drug filled eyes blink away saltless tears wasn’t enough

The cruel watch decided with its ever moving hands

As the whirring of machines still ticked

Compassion might win this time

And allow her to sing the finale that every person must know

By letting her parched note tumble into

The soft abyss of her final slumber

Of the beginning

Of her peace.

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when the pain comes out at night.

only pain

lonely pain

long  minute

in the hours of night.

breathe dear chest

sigh hard

seek  strength

as you begin this plight.

as clock sees

the tears stream

their paths the same

once more.

as darkness blurs

the hope to view

what lies beyond such door.

tomorrow’s truth

may hope arise

as day’s harsh light begins

let peace within

reign o’er the soul

to flee the pain again.

ed.

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