Tag Archives: twitter

#exquisite taste?

I’m a social media whore. Bam! It’s out there!

As if anyone would question those statements. When I run into people at parties, at the supermarket, even on the street, I hear, “I love your Posts! They make me laugh, cry, or just get pissed and unfriend people. ”

I know how to blog, post, InstaGram, tweet, I can pin like there’s no tomorrow, and I even tried that Snapchat for about a week until I discovered those … um graphic images don’t always just “disappear.”

I enjoy checking my social media stats, seeing how many views, visitors, and followers I get. I’m not sure if it’s a need, or an unhealthy obsession, but I do it. I grew up in an environment where everything was charted, graphed, and counted by numbers. Get over it.

To me, Twitter seems to be the most difficult for me to integrate. I use it to follow politicians, the occasional sports figure, and many of my favorite soap opera stars. I like diversity.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I discovered that I have a new follower on Twitter! I’m not so sure I’m crazy about this one though…

2015/01/img_0772.png

8 Comments

Filed under Gay culture, Humor, Life...

weiner.

I can’t even type it without snickering like a fifth grader. Just like bra, penis, boobs and rubber, apparently I have yet to grow up entirely because I STILL giggle hysterically when I hear one or all of these words.

U. S. Representative Anthony Weiner recently admitted he sent suggestive photos of himself in his underwear via Twitter and then lied about it to everyone within earshot. What I find simply… well… stupid, is that one of the photos included family photos in the background on a pretty console table in color coordinated frames of the wife and the Weiners (snicker) with the Clintons.

Do men ever learn? Are the brief (pun intended) moments of sexual arousal and “flirtatious” moments worth the fallout?

I remember several years ago when I discovered my interest in men that technology was such that I could take pictures or shoot crude grainy videos of my private parts to send to horny guys over the internet. I tried it once to see if it was worth the effort. I couldn’t get my positioning right. I only have two hands and the things I was attempting to do required them both. I tried to open a bottle of lube because I thought the glistening effect would look sensual and hot. I spilled the lube on the computer and tried to pick it up with hands that were slippery and ended up making a huge mess. As I got up I knocked the keyboard to the floor and watched as the keys with the letters “D” and “S” went spinning across the floor.

Needless to say, my personal “film noir” was not completed and I was eventually delegated to the occasional photo of “little Eddy” after I cleaned up the computer and purchased a new keyboard.

Is there an answer to this fascination with the cock? Read on.

I don’t believe men should be allowed to have penises all the time. Perhaps they should only be allowed to have access to them when their brains and their dicks are in sync. MAYBE men, like women, should have their “time of the month.” Once a month for maybe a week, men would have the opportunity to get hard, play with it, have sex alone or with others, and then at the end of the week the balls retract, the head inverts and it just goes away until the following month.

Imagine how much work would get done ladies. Imagine the actual romance that would transpire, and imagine how many relationships would remain intact. Ah… a pipe dream you say? Let me pull out my iphone4 that allows me to take self photos and I’ll show you a pipe.

10 Comments

Filed under Life...

twitter twitter little star…

I used to adore Hollywood stars. I’d have this internal “image” of them in my head of how they would drive in a convertible about the coast of gorgeous California from garden party to social event with ease. They’d be in outfits that they shopped for on sun-filled jaunts to Rodeo Drive sacking different shoes for every day in between tennis lessons on bluffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

Then I signed up for Twitter, and discovered I was WRONG.

I don’t truly know why I opted to join the “Tweeters” of the world. I think I caved in (as usual) during a second glass of an Australian Shiraz one evening when I was bored. On a side note: I have discovered my liking for MORE vegetables while on a second glass of wine. It’s as if the walls of disgust come tumbling down and my eyes get a glaze in them that make it easy for me to try new things! Hopefully this never happens while near a bungee cord and a bridge.

Anyway, as I began to navigate my way around on Twitter… okay, it wasn’t really considered navigating so much as stalking, I immediately started my Twitter fest by following half of the cast of my favorite soap opera (and one of the few remaining) General Hospital. I invited these actors into my home daily, so obviously they just HAD to be cool west coast folks as well. Right?

At the risk of not mentioning any specific names, the stunningly handsome and eloquent Prince of the Cassidine family, who also has the most incredible body known to man, is as stupid as an ass. His tweets directed me to his blog which he continuously touts as random thoughts from the beach. Try random complete sentences without the adjective of defecation in three or four different ways Tyler (oops). Myth debunked in a major way (although his ass still rocks).

Then there’s my favorite bitch/mother/lover/slut Carly whom I absolutely ADORE for her blatant honestly on the soap. Oh wait… that didn’t come out right. Regardless, her rants on Twitter don’t describe engaging social events by the pool or charity events with A-List stars, but rather include wine sloshed comments about her family vineyard and how they make candles from wine bottles to sell on a web site. She also punctuates every sentence she posts with ha or haha or hahaha as if she thinks everything she says is funny. I’m disappointed.

Other stars that fizzle include Kristen Chenoweth who gives me chills when she sings, but can’t type for shit (people: it’s you’re, not your for Christ sake!).  Sean Hayes from “Will and Grace” fame tweets @KChenoweth Love you back!!! Ridiculous.

When I signed up, I was looking for pretentious Hollywood people. I wanted who sleeps with whom, who got fired from what and who has yet to get thrown out of the proverbial closet!

Total Twitter disenchantment!

I’ve learned to follow, unfollow, and then follow again some of the hippest celebrities in the business. I’ve discovered how to RE-tweet, comment, email and post photos on Twitter. I’ve educated myself on those incessant #hash #tags as well.

But I wonder. Do I REALLY want to debunk the celebrity “mystique” that I’ve grown accustomed to from years of subscribing to People Magazine? Now where’s that bottle of Shiraz?

Comments Off on twitter twitter little star…

Filed under Life...