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Top ten misconceptions about an old interracial gay couple.

Matching tee shirts are SO gay, even if they ARE Jakes Bar.

1. One of us is the “husband” and one of us is the “bitch.”
TRUTH: While we don’t strive to emulate straight stereotypical roles, we are BOTH the “bitch.”

2. Attempting to incorporate our culinary heritage into our diet, we eat fried chicken on Friday nights and goulash on Mondays.
TRUTH: We eat fried chicken any day that we require comfort food and goulash is just nasty.

3. We use 50% less sunscreen than a Caucasian gay couple.
TRUTH: We don’t go out in the sun unless there is alcohol involved and only then with a rainbow-colored parasol.

4. Our musical tastes include Lady Gaga, Bootsy Collins and Justin Bieber.
TRUTH: Daryl knows the words to Justin Bieber songs. I, on the other hand, have ear plugs.

5. We have store credit cards at Old Navy and The Gap.
TRUTH: Credit cards are not our friends.

6. My pet name is “Flashlight.”
TRUTH: Although during sex in a dark room there are times where the only one I see is me, that is not my pet name.

7. Daryl’s pet name is “Bubalicious.”
TRUTH: It is.

8. People assume that one of us is well hung.
Truth: We both are.

9. I prefer chocolate ice cream, Daryl prefers vanilla.
TRUTH: True

10. We use Kool Aid as a mixer.
TRUTH: It was just that one time!

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Top TEN reasons to call out sick today…

10. My eyes want to stay closed.

9. I can’t seem to get last night’s crusty drool off of my chin (oh wait… THAT’S not drool!)

8. The sun is out and it’s WAY ABOVE freezing.

7. I STILL need to take down the Christmas Tree.

6. Today is Christine’s last day.  : (

5. My hair is just not looking good today.

4. I need to go food shopping (the fridge has one container of expired yogurt and a Pizza Hut Box with a 2 week old pepperoni pizza in it).

3. I have several games of online “Scrabble” to catch up on.

2. My windshield is covered with winter salt and I’d be visually impaired.

1. I need to catch up on the movies I have yet to rent, 
    including “The Human Centipede.”

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